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| This was the mess made while mama cleaned the bathroom #tired |
This has not been an easy week where motherhood is
concerned. It’s a little late for this, but
I’m seriously questioning my judgement in getting pregnant with baby number 3
less than 4 years after having baby number 1.
This week has brought sick kids, epic toddler meltdowns, a very long “to
do” list, and all the discomforts of 3rd trimester. Oh, and let’s not forget a big fight over
something silly with my husband because that’s just what you do when one of you
has been up all night with a sick kid and the other has spent the entire day
entertaining the well one. Overwhelmed is the word of the week.
And somehow that feeling of complete exhaustion has left me
thinking about the wise men. The wise
men and Mary. You know most people think
the wise men came to the manger when Jesus was born, but scripture tells a
different story. Matthew 2:11 tells us
that Mary and Joseph were in a house when the Magi finally arrived, and most
scholars agree that they arrived sometime in the first two years of Jesus’ life
based on Herod’s ultimate decision to have all baby boys under age 2 killed.
I like to think that Mary was in my stage of life when the
wise men arrived with their gifts. Maybe
she was buried in laundry, watching a very energetic Jesus pull the dishes out
of her neat cabinets again, holding a crying infant in her arms, and wondering
what in the world she was going to serve Joseph for dinner. Andy likes to remind me that even as a
toddler Jesus was sinless, so Mary’s experience with her firstborn was probably
different than mine, but I like to retort that Jesus was still a 2 year
old. He couldn’t be trusted not to put
small objects in his mouth, and he still cried for mama in the middle of the
night when he was teething. He needed
her to cut up his food and dress him and bathe him. He needed her when he fell and hit his head
while learning to walk. And Mary still
had to potty train him – not the most fun experience (can I get an “amen,”
mamas?).
And Joseph most definitely was not sinless. Scripture is clear that he was an amazing
man, and truly had the best interests of his family at heart, but I’m married
to an amazing man myself and he’s still just a man, and learning to do life
together – especially as a newlywed – is still a challenge. Life had to have been HARD for her in this
season! So when the Magi knocked on the door, I wonder if she considered not answering. Wouldn’t it be easier to pretend no one was
home than to invite guests into her chaos?
But she did answer. And into the chaos of babies and newlyweds
and laundry and potty training walked guests with a message from God. And while their message wasn’t without pain –
myrrh was a symbol of bitterness and suffering – it was confirmation, once
again, that this child in her home was precious. Gold signified divinity and frankincense
signified sacrifice. These gifts were a
reminder that God himself was there to sacrifice himself for mankind – the ultimate
show of love.
I love the idea that almost two years into her life with
Joseph and Jesus and potentially other children, in the thick of the ordinary,
God reminds Mary that everything about her firstborn is extraordinary. How sweet is that? I love the tenderness of our God who will
step into a mother’s exhaustion – into the bone weariness that being a mama to
littles can bring – and will whisper, “Everything you heard in the beginning is
still true. He’s still the ONE. And you’re still chosen. You’re still the woman I picked to be his
mama.”
My babies are not divine, and neither is their mama. Let’s be real. There is a WHOLE LOT of sin going on in the
Speight household. And there are days
when I feel like an absolute failure in the motherhood and wife
department. But then I think about the
Magi and the timeliness of their visit, and I think of all the ways God the
Holy Spirit shows up in my every day life to whisper, “Your children are so
special. They are special because they
are mine. They are put in your care, and
regardless of what you feel, you’re still the woman I picked to be their mama.”
