Dancing in the Kitchen

Last night, I was cooking dinner and cleaning at the same time.  Our kitchen was a disaster, and Andy was supposed to be home any minute.  Daniel was sitting in his Rock and Play holding a ball and watching me work, and we were listening to Pandora’s “Easy Listening” station on my IPhone.  All of a sudden, Stevie Wonder’s “You are the Sunshine of my Life” came on, and as I turned to fill a container with soap water to scrub two days worth of dirty bottles, I caught my sweet boy grinning at me.  I couldn’t resist scooping him up to dance to the song, and in the middle of a messy kitchen we swayed to the music, adding a few cuddles and kisses for good measure.  The song was over in a few minutes, and Andy came home to a fully cooked dinner and a nearly clean kitchen.  The moment cost us practically nothing but earned a precious memory where Daniel felt his mom’s love and attention.

 

I quit my job to stay home with Daniel this year.  My job is not the only sacrifice we are making for me to stay at home.  We recently bought a house, and though I like it enough, it is certainly not my dream home.  But, the payments are reasonable and help us meet our strict budget requirements.  Things that we could do without thinking – like going out to eat – must now be carefully managed and tracked.  However, my life with my son looks much different than it would if I were working, too.  I don’t miss any of the little moments with him.  I was with him for his first smile and the first time he rolled over.  I know him better than anyone not only because I am his mom but because we spend all our time together.  I am not against daycare, and I do not believe all moms should be stay at home moms, but this is the life I wanted, and I’m so thankful for it.  What I’m noticing, though, is that even though I am purposely staying home to have more time with Daniel, I still allow myself to get caught up in the day to day busyness.  I wake up each day with a “to do” list and sometimes that list can overshadow the reason I’m home in the first place.

 

It is important to me that Andy comes home to a clean house and dinner – I want him to see that I have done something with my time.  So, last night, I was feeling the pull to let Daniel sit alone and play with his toys while I finished my chore.  I was so caught up in what I wanted that I almost missed a little moment with my baby.  I know I can’t spend all day dancing in the kitchen with Daniel.  He needs to learn to entertain himself, and I can’t live in a messy house.  But, it occurred to me last night that having a Christ centered life is about looking for the times when we can put others ahead of our “to do” lists.

 

Right now, Daniel is my main mission field, and it is my job to show him how much Jesus loves him.  Setting aside little moments to model that love is important to teaching him about the Lord, and in the long run will have a much more lasting impact than a clean kitchen.  There is a beautiful quote by Maya Angelou that says, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  When I was teaching, it was a quote I tried hard to remember (even though I failed often).  I can almost guarantee that my former students will have a hard time remembering specific lessons I taught, but I bet they remember, for good or bad, the way I made them feel in the classroom.  Making students feel loved and safe often involved taking a step away from my daily objective to talk to them in the hallway about a personal issue or shaving a few minutes from my already short lunch to ask about their upcoming soccer game.  I think what I’m learning is that making other people feel cherished usually interrupts what I’m doing.  It puts the half clean kitchen on hold or it puts me two minutes behind running those copies or it takes me away from my morning workout for a bit, but in the end, the investment in the relationship and the opportunity to share love is absolutely worth it.

My Favorite Wedding Scriptures

 

Andy had a friend call him last night and ask him to read scripture at his wedding.  When Andy agreed, the friend then asked him to suggest some scriptures that might be appropriate for the day.  I LOVE the wisdom in that request.  I have known engaged couples to choose Christian friends or mentors to read at their weddings and also ask those people to choose scripture that would also serve as a blessing over the newlyweds.  Andy and I have only been married two years, but we have also gone through quite a bit of change in those two years that has brought us closer together and caused us to learn more about each other very quickly.  The biggest lesson I’ve had about marriage in these two years is that I had no idea what I was getting into on my wedding day.  I picked scripture for the day that I thought represented our intentions and godly love – and they did – but after having some time to learn what marriage is all about, I would have chosen with much more clarity and wisdom.  So, even though no one asked me what scriptures I’d suggest for this friend’s wedding, I’m going to stick them on my blog in case anyone else cares!

 

Deuteronomy 6:4-12

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^{[a] 5} Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

¹⁰ When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, ¹¹ houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, ¹² be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

This is a scripture that we actually had read on our wedding day, and I did understand it then, and even more so now.  I like it first because it is from the Old Testament.  I don’t think the OT gets enough credit for being as rich with God’s promises as the New Testament – and it should get that credit.  I am a big fan of including scripture from different parts of the Bible on a wedding day, so that is part of why we picked this scripture.  Another reason we picked it is because we had seen God do amazing things for us in our dating relationship.  He took us through hurdles I thought were impossible and made a way for us to be together.  We said over and over how we never wanted to forget God’s faithfulness to us.  What I’ve learned in the past two years is that God’s faithfulness never gives out and deserves constant remembering.  I also want this scripture to set a precedent for how we structure our family.  I want Daniel (and any other children we have) to hear us talk about the Lord often and I want them to hear how he has always been faithful to us.  I also want them to know that any blessing we have comes straight from God and was not gotten on our own ability or strength.

Romans 12:9-18

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

This is a scripture I have been studying since I got pregnant.  It is my prayer for the person Daniel will become.  But it is also how I want our household to run and such a good reminder for Christian marriages.  When we become a team for the Lord, we have a responsibility to act in certain ways and to help hold each other accountable for those actions.  I want Andy and me to be people who are compassionate for others, who practice hospitality, who show great faithfulness in prayer for other people, and who trust and wait on God in all circumstances.  I want us to become a couple who has a relationship within and outside our family that points others to the Lord.  This scripture is SO HARD to do with perfection, but I love the standard to which it calls us.

1 John 3:16-18

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for one another.  If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

 

Poor Mark Melvin.  Mark is a friend of ours who was asked to be a reader at our wedding.  We asked him to read all of 1 John 4, and we could have just as easily asked him to read these two verses because they perfectly summarize the concept we wanted presented at our wedding.  I like this one because it is a reminder that true love is the sacrifice Christ made on the cross.  We wouldn’t know what love is if it wasn’t for that demonstration.  Love is absolute selflessness.  It is laying down our lives for the sake of another.  This love should be represented in our marriages and in our relationships with our children, and the model we have is Jesus Christ, who did not tell us he loved us but showed us in a great act.  It is easy to say, “I love you,” but it is a lot harder to show that love day in and day out when the one you know you love is driving you crazy or when you want things your way.  It is a lesson I’m still learning!!  In fact, the last part of that scripture is one I have ordered for our kitchen wall to remind me that making coffee for Andy in the morning or packing his lunch or changing Daniel’s diaper or rocking him while he screams are the very definitions of love and much more important than any words I can say.

 

Colossians 3:12-17

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I have heard this scripture read at a few weddings, and I think it is a great choice.  The last part reminds us that we act a certain way because we are ruled by Christ.  As Colossians says elsewhere, when we chose to follow Christ, we became a new person.  As that new person, we should wear garments of compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.  On your wedding day, it seems like those feelings for this spouse we have chosen will be easy and effortless.  But the truth is that when those little oddities we each have start poking their heads, it can be hard to have patience and gentleness with each other.  The things that seemed charming and cute (or maybe only mildly annoying) when we were engaged are places where we just wish the other would change after six months of marriage, and I love this scripture that reminds us to be patient with one another and the little things that make each of us exactly who we are.