Today is Joshua’s first birthday.
I can not believe my last baby is turning one today. I woke up this morning thinking about him,
and specifically his name. All of our
children have names of Biblical characters we admire and hope they emulate, but
Joshua’s name is also reflective of promises Andy and I believe God gave us at
a particularly hard time in our dating lives.
I will never forget sitting in church while the pastor talked about
Joshua crossing the Jordan with the Israelites in tow, and I felt the Holy
Spirit whisper to me that all would be well and that He would carry us
through. If you came to our wedding, you
know I walked down the aisle to “Our God” by Chris Tomlin. That song was part of the same service. It was a day I knew the Lord’s faithfulness
in such a deep way, and I knew that even though it felt like I was facing my
own Jordan, God would make a miraculous way for us. And he did.
This morning, I woke up with my heart racing because with the news of
the BBT and Suntrust merger, we are facing another Jordan. With the banks combining, there are no
assurances Andy will keep his job and no assurances of where it will be if he
does. It is scary, and this morning I
woke up with a reminder from God about another situation Joshua encountered in
the Bible.
In Numbers 13, Joshua and Caleb were standing with several other men in
front of all the Israelites. Within a
few months, these people had seen God move in HUGE ways. They were rescued from oppression in Egypt
and allowed to peacefully leave 400 years of slavery. And not only allowed to leave but given
abundant riches from their captors to do so.
They saw the Red Sea part, and they walked across on dry land. They ate food that fell from heaven and saw
Moses bring water from a rock with just the touch of his staff. And ALL of this was seen on a journey to go specifically
to Canaan, a land God had promised this people in the time of Abraham. Surely, they had heard the stories passed
down through the generations of God’s Promised Land. So in Numbers 13, after the land had been
explored and declared as “flowing with milk and honey,” it should have been a
no brainer that with the help of their big, big God, they would take what had
been promised to them and make a new home.
And yet, that was not the reaction the Israelites had. Instead of focusing on their God, most of the
spies focused on themselves saying, “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes
and we looked the same to them” (Numbers 13:32) – the conclusion being that
there was no way they could fight the giants occupying Canaan. Caleb and Joshua stood alone before the
assembly begging the people to go in saying, “Do not be afraid of the people of
the land, because we will devour them.
Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us” (Numbers 14:9).
When our focus is on ourselves and our situation and even the “facts,”
over the size of our God, we lose. The
facts were that the people in Canaan were giants, that the city was well
fortified, and that the Canaanites were very powerful. The facts were that the Israelites didn’t
have a massive amount of experience in battle, were small people in comparison
to the giants, and were unprotected physically as they had no city established
to which they could retreat in battle.
But the TRUTH was that their God was bigger than any of that, and the
truth was that the whole purpose of their salvation in Egypt, was for that moment. They were standing on the edge of a promise
at least 630 years in the making (if Google is accurate 😊). God CREATED the nation of Israel with this
land in mind – he knew they would be facing this decision before these people
were even born. They may have felt unprepared,
but God was ultimately prepared. Not only prepared, he’d planned and
orchestrated every single step, and yet he still allowed them the choice to obey
or not. And they didn’t. And as a result, they faced dire consequences
– wondering in the dessert until every adult member of the assembly besides
Joshua and Caleb were dead before God once again brought them back to that city
and gave them the choice again.
The facts Andy and I are facing right now, scare me. And maybe the facts of your situation scare
you, too. It is hard when the way looks
impossible or undesirable. It is hard
when God is calling us to leave our comfort and cross into something big and
scary and challenging. When our strength
and our resources aren’t enough, and we know that we have to lean entirely on
God and the truth that he is in control, it is not easy. But the pay off is HUGE. I think about that day in my past when I sat
in church and listened to the sermon on Joshua.
I could have stayed right where I was and made my own way, but at that
time, Andy and I were broken up. That
sermon was pivotal in showing me God wanted us together, and when I look at our
life today and our three beautiful children, I can’t imagine ever walking a
different path.
Yesterday, while checking out in Walgreens with birthday decorations,
my eyes fell on our local newspaper. Across
the front page were splashed articles about the bank merger and what it would mean
for our city. My stomach churned looking
at those headlines, but then with a sweet whisper from my God, I grabbed the
newspaper and threw it in my pile. When
Andy got home from work, I held it up to him and said, “I bought this today
because I know God is going to carry us through this time, and I also know that
we are standing on the edge of a great plan he has for us and our family. A plan we never would have seen or
experienced had this merger not happened.
So we are going to put this newspaper in a safe place, and we are going
to keep it as our Ebenezer of what God has done. Because one day, we will be able to look at
it that way. And in the meantime, we are
going to look at it as the promise.”
I’m scared. I’m not going to
lie. And anxiety comes and goes when I
think of all the things this change can mean for our family. But having this newspaper, this tangible
symbol, feels like standing on the edge of the Jordan with my smooth stone, building
the first part of an altar to my God – even though I’ve yet to see the waters
part.
