Testing

Due to changes in testing requirements, this is the first time I have had to retest such a large group of students. I had approximately eight students in the room, and you can imagine how nervous they were. They know that if they do not pass the test, they will not pass the class. We had studied all that they were unsure about the day before, but I think the tutorial served to make them a bit more stressed as they suddenly had much more information to remember.

At the midway point in testing, I had students looking up at me every few minutes in complete desperation. Panic was in their eyes as they surveyed long reading passages, and they would meet my gaze silently screaming, “Help!” I would wink or nod my head at them trying to silently convince them that they could do it because I knew they could. I knew they were given the skills needed to succeed on this test, and I prayed frantically that they would remember all that I had told them. I also desperately wished at times that I could give them a break and jump in their seat to take the test for them! I hated seeing them suffer, but I knew it was a necessary experience to get them to the next level – 10th grade.

It reminded me a little of my relationship with the Lord. How many times have I looked his way in desperation – telling him I couldn’t possibly do what he was asking me to do? Looking at the precious teenagers in my class, I thought of all the experiences I’ve had when I knew I wouldn’t make. When I knew I couldn’t do it, but I also knew that I couldn’t give up. I wondered if in those times, God was smiling down at me like I was doing with my students. I wondered if he knew, like I did, that I was so close to making it, that he had given me the skills I needed to get through, and if he was begging me to remember all he had already told me – in my heart and in his word.

By the way, my students did much better on their retest, and the best part of the entire experience was that I got to call one of my favorites who took the entire four hours to take the test and tell him that he had passed! When his mother screamed, “Thank you, Jesus!” in my ear, I thought the exact same thing – thank you, Jesus, for the lessons.