Advice

I was in a situation recently where a girl was complaining about her job. Actually, "complaining" may not be the right word - she was on the verge of tears about how terrible her working conditions were. It was my first time meeting this girl, but also involved in the conversation were two people who knew her well. They were quick to give her the support she needed - asking her questions, brainstorming solutions, and encouraging her to think only about each day. Clearly, at the scource of her concern was a desire to keep her job, so the advice to "hang in there" was well placed. However, we were together in a Christian context, and I was under the assumption that all involved were Christians, and I noticed that none of the advice given to her encouraged her to seek teh Lord in any way.

That morning, prior to the conversation, I had read about the temptations of Jesus in a comentary by William Barclay. He began the selection by discussing that the Greek word for "tempt" means "to test" more than it does "to tempt." Then he wrote: "What we call temptation is not meant to make us sin; it is meant to enagle us to conquer sin. It is not meant to make us bad, it is meant to make us good. It is not meant to weaken us, it is meant to make us emerge stronger and finer and purer from the ordeal. Temptation is not the penalty of being human; temptation is the glory of being human. It is the test which comes to those whom God wishes to use."

Barclay's words spoke clearly to me as I have been reading two Christian books (Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver and SacredMarriage by Gary Thomas) in Bible Study contexts that both support his claim that times of trial are the times that usually best produce Christian character. Both books have reinforced consistently that the Christian life is not meant to be easy and that when we pray for "easy" or "happiness" perhaps we are seekings those feelings above Chrisitan growth. Since both books discuss these concepts, I have also found myself discussing them with my Bible Study girls and with other Christian friends. I have also started to apply these thoughts to my own life situations.

Like the girl I met, my job situation is difficult this year as FCHS qualified for a School Improvement Grant due to our low test scores and graduation rate. Morale is low and has gotten lower as we (like all NC schools) are facing budget cuts, and teachers are finding out they won't have jobs next year. We are stressed to the max and snappy with each other, and I won't go so far to say that i have changed my behavior because I know God is doing good work. I still have a LONG way to go when it comes to building character, but the situation at my school has given me a chance to consider what God wants to change in me.

One of my coworkers has used as her personal mantra that this year is a "hot water" situation, and she is a tea bag. I hear her say often that what attitudes and behaivors come out of her this year show what she is really made of - does she have good tea in her bag? She heard this analogy in a sermon about Jonah, and I have thought of it often this year as I"ve seen attitudes and behaviors in my tea bag that have no business being there. God has used this situationg to show me that I'm not as beautiful inside as I thought - I don't have my tongue under control, and I'm not as giving or as loving or as patient as I thought I was. This year has been an opportunity for me to see my ugliness and seek prayer for areas that need to change.

Difficult situations are not only places for us to learn more about ourselves, though. I think theya re also places for us to learn more about God. There is a significant relationship in my life that, for a number of reasons, has not always been easy. But the times of difficulties and the trials habe been wonderful opportunities for both of us to see the Lord - and we have been privy to his great miracles as we've made our way through the trials. Beacuse of this realtionship, I have learned so much about the Lord and his character, and I've heard his voice clearly. In the time sof trial, the Lord has taught me what it means to rest in him and turst him and his ways, and he has rewarded the small amounts of faithfulness I've shown by showing me his perfect love and faithfulness.

So...back to the girl who was heartbreakingly devastated about her job situation. The convesation with ehr lasted approximately ten minutes and during it, my mind was busy putting pieces together and relating to her - everything i had been learning in my relationships, my Bible Studies, and my job situation was running through my head, and I felt the Lord's spirit urge me to encouarge her with what I was learning. I also found it alarming that while I was thinking, she still had not heard any advice focused on the Lord. So, before the conversation ended, I encouarged her that perhaps the Lord had something to teach her in that difficult situation. I vaguley referenced James 1 suggesting that maybe the Lord wanted to build character in her so that she could be used in other ways by him or that maybe in the situation he wanted to show her more of who he was. I told her that I had learned some of the same lessons in my own job situations. My advice fell completely flat. Suddenly, I felt like the weird, awkward girl I had been in middle school. Thankfully, I teach high school so my words being "uncool" or "weird" or my jokes being "not funny" is a daily part of my life, and my feelings were not hurt.

The conversation did run through my mind during the afternoon, though, as I tried to identify what had gone wrong. I know that sometimes when people are hurting, the encouragment to look for Jesus can come across as an empty platitude, but my heart was sincere, and I tried to phrase my words in a way that showed my sincerity. In the end, I was left wondering if we were failing each other as a church. I began to think of my own Christian friends and the advice we give one another. I do see us encourage one another to look for the Lord and to consider his plan, but speaking for myself, I probably give that advice after we have discussed other ways to "fix" the problem. I'm not opposed to giving and receiving advice, and I'm very aware that the Lor uses well placed advice to lead people toward his plans. But at the same time, I am wondering if, as a church, we are more focused on personal happiness than we are on Christian growth. And (especially using Paul's letters to the persecuted church as a model) shouldn't Christian growth always be our aim? Shouldn't it always be the center of any advice we give one another?

James 1:2-4 & 12: Consider it pure joys, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything...Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised those who love him.