Power in Weakness

Last week, I became cognizant of an issue that I knew immediately required medical attention.  I’ll spare you all the details, but it is an issue I’ve had in the past and quickly self-diagnosed.  However, a self-diagnosis, I knew, wasn’t good enough.  I also knew, from experience, that it is something that could be serious and/or could require surgery.  So, I made a doctor’s appointment.  And then I did what I do best – I started to worry, letting the worst case scenario play in the back of my mind.

 

The day before my appointment, I got an email from a friend asking for prayers for a doctor’s appointment she was worried about.  I smiled at her request knowing that she was 10 times more worried about her appointment than was needed, and I felt the Lord speak quietly to my heart, “Just as you are 10 times more worried than you need to be.”  I tried to argue with him, “But, Lord, I know what she will endure at that appointment, and I know the outcome.  I know it will be painless and easy.” As soon as the prayer was out of lips, I felt him respond, “But, Shannon, I know what you will endure at that appointment, and I know the outcome.  I know it will be painless and easy.”  I wish I could have let calm and peace totally sink into my heart at that moment, but I couldn’t.  I felt it come and go like a tidal wave, battling with my fear and anxiety.

 

On Monday, I went to my doctor’s appointment, and my self-diagnosis was confirmed and more information was given.  Praise God, nothing serious is going on, but the news wasn’t entirely what I wanted, and surgery is likely in my future again at some point.  Initially, I felt such relief that the news wasn’t as bad as it could have been – was, in fact, good news.  But last night, I lay in bed filled with “What if?” questions that I shot off at Andy, and every question was a legitimate and possible outcome to my actual diagnosis.  My husband is awesome in those situations, but his answers didn’t exactly comfort, and when we turned out the light, I did what I should have done initially – I went to the Lord, the ultimate healer, and asked him to make everything better.  I asked him to change the situation.  And you know what I heard? “My grace is sufficient for you.  My power is made perfect in weakness.”  Over and over.  To every time I tried to pray about another possible scenario, he responded the same way. 

 

God often speaks to me through scripture, and I know from past experiences that the context of the scripture is usually as applicable as the verse he picked, so this morning, I picked up my Bible and located the verse to read the rest of the context.  I almost laughed out loud at the context.  It was God’s answer to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12 when he prayed that the “thorn in his side” be removed.  Many scholars believe the thorn to be some kind of medical condition.  Paul wanted God to remove it, but he never did.  Instead, he told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul accepted the answer and said himself, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

 

What do weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties all have in common?  They push us to the feet of the Lord Jesus.  They are too big for us to handle.  They remind us that we are not perfect or invincible or without troubles.  They remind us that we are human and frail and in need of someone mightier than ourselves.  They force us to rely on the Lord.  To trust him, to pray to him, to be real with him.  You see, I have a choice to make.  I can keep worrying about a worst case scenario, or even a real, possible scenario, or I can trust that no matter what, the Lord will hold me up.  Even if my worst case scenario becomes my reality, he is there and he is real and he is all powerful.  In relying on him through my fears and struggles, I am able to develop a peace that is true and sustaining – a faith that can be an example to others and display his power. 

 

Lately, life has been better for me than it has ever been.  Lately, I’ve felt that God has only brought us one good thing after another – that his blessing are raining down and covering us up.  I love times of life like that, but I also know that nothing drives me faster to the feet of Jesus than fear and worry.  It is likely that this little condition he has given me will drive me frequently to his feet.  As the doctor I saw on Monday told me, “You will likely be here again down the road.  You’ll probably see this same problem again. You will probably have this and that test at some point because you’ll see a doctor who is concerned.  But I’m telling you all this so you don’t worry.  Know it will be a part of life, but don’t live in fear of each appointment.”  I don’t know if the man was a Christian, but I don’t think his words could have been any more prophetic.  Reading the scripture from the Lord this morning, I felt the same response.  I felt the Lord tell me that no miraculous healing was in my future, just like it wasn’t in the plans for Paul.  I was reminded that life won’t always be easy but that I shouldn’t live in fear.  As true today as it was 2000 years ago: “My grace is sufficient, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”