One of Those Weeks

I had a hard week recently.  It was just one of those weeks full of disappointment and the ever present demands of life that called me to keep moving forward when I really just wanted to sit and cry.  We’ve all had weeks like that, right?  A week of intense stress, a week where we forced a smile to hide a lot of hurt, a week of unanswered prayer.  It was just one of those weeks.

And one morning that week as I sat in my room trying to do some work for the classes I teach online, I found my mind completely occupied with another hurt making it hard to concentrate.  In that moment, I felt defeat creeping near, and in defiance, I stopped and took a moment to sing along with Pandora and the worship music playing from my app.  I closed my eyes and raised my hands to the Lord, and told him I loved him.  In all my hurt, and in all my stress of that awful week, I just decided to praise God.  To defy Satan.  To tell him that he wouldn’t win over me this time.  To say to myself that God is good.  No matter what I see in the moment, he is always good and always on my side.

This morning, I drove home from dropping Daniel at preschool and the song “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns came on the radio.  I first heard it during that awful week, but I listened again to the lyrics this morning, and they spoke to me just as strongly today as they did then.  I love the line, “Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place.  I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held.”  Sometimes, I feel like I’m desperately holding on to God – just trying to keep him near in times of stress and sadness.  The song reminded me that God is not moving away from me in those times – or in any other time.  He is always right where he should be – on the throne and in control.  There are times when I feel like things are falling apart, but God knows that truly they are just falling right into place.  Not a moment of our lives is wasted when it comes to God’s purpose in our lives.  I love Proverbs 19:21 that says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  I’ve always thought of this verse positively; I might have good plans but the Lord’s plans are better and will prevail over mine.  That is true, but it is also true that even in the bad things that happen to us – as a result of a fallen world or other people’s plans or whatever – even in those things, God cannot be defeated.  He is bigger than plans or circumstances or even evil.  He is big enough to take anything and shape it into his will for us.  And I love the reminder that, “In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

So, if you happen to be having one of those hard weeks, remember that, while things have changed, God has not.  He is still who he always was and always will be – he is good and trustworthy and true, and he is working ALL things out for our good, even when we can’t see it.