Before we even moved to Clemmons, I remember God promising
me community there. I vividly remember being
8 months pregnant and walking into Target.
Andy had not even been offered the job in Winston-Salem yet, and in that
parking lot, I almost audibly heard God say, “You are moving to Winston, but I’ll
go and prepare a place for you, and I will provide community there.” I had a friend ask me this year exactly how I
heard God speak (whether it was in prayer time or in church) and another friend
in the room started giggling and said, “I think it’s in places like the Target
parking lot!” because she knew this story so well.
It is not unusual for me to hear God speak in unusual places,
but I can barely think of my community in Clemmons without thinking of that
Target parking lot experience. It took a
year before God made good on that promise, but then he MAJORLY showed up. To describe the level of community we had in
Clemmons in this blog post is way too hard for me right now. Just suffice it to say that this was not just
a place I had close girlfriends. It was
a place where Andy had dear guy friends, where we had couples that knew our
children well and poured into them – whether or not they had kids the same
ages. It was a place where we had older
mentor figures and younger friends we were enjoying getting to know. We had groups of friends we saw on regular
basis, and there was so much overlap in these groups that in building one
friendship, you felt like you were building others at the same time. We had a neighborhood where we knew by name almost
every person – where trips to the bus stop often led to long conversations and
encouragement.
I still feel baffled when I think about why God moved us
from this community. It seems insane
that he specifically promised these people, and yet, I was only given four good
years with them. But I have spent some time this week reconnecting with an old
friend and talking to her about our move to Charlotte. It has made me start to reflect on some of
the lessons we’ve learned and some of the good things that have come from this
move. It also seems hard to believe that
we have been in Charlotte for almost 4 months.
We’ve spent one third of the year here and now, one third of the year
away from “home” which I still call Clemmons.
With the exception of one friend, it has been almost 4 months since I’ve
seen so many of the people I dearly, dearly love. However, in that time, God has started to
rework in me the idea of community, and there have been some special things
come out of these past four months.
1.
I have not lost my community from Clemmons. When we moved, I mentally tagged a few people
I did not want to lose as we moved. I
love friendships with other women. But
real friendships take time and effort. I
believe that you only get out of a friendship what you put into it, and I don’t
want a lot of surface level friendships.
I’d rather have a few friendships that I truly invest in and have deep,
meaningful relationships. One beautiful
thing about this move is that, so far, I have not drifted in these relationships. My friend, Meredith, and I actually joked
that we have talked more since I’ve moved than we did when I lived right down
the road from her. I’ve learned to love
the Marco Polo app, I’ve done a lot of texting, my sweet friend Taryn has
learned to tolerate random FaceTime calls from my kids to hers, I’ve scheduled
times to chat on the phone with my friends who are extra busy or have schedules
vastly different than mine, and this weekend, I got to put our first kid-free
couples beach trip on the books. When
Joshua is fully recovered, we look forward making a day trip to visit friends
and our church, but being “stuck” here while he recovers has shown me that I
don’t have to actually see our friends regularly to keep them close. God did give us the community he promised in Clemmons,
and he didn’t take it away because we moved.
2.
I have had the time to refocus on Andy and the
kids and their place as part of my community.
When we left Clemmons, several people there who had moved often reminded
me that I was taking my favorite people with me to Charlotte. Although I knew it to be true, I had a hard
time latching on to that encouragement.
But being here has helped redefine these relationships and solidify
these people as my tightest community. Andy
is the only adult I talk to face to face most weeks, which has allowed for
meaningful conversations – especially as we begin to identify what is most important
to us regarding church and school choices.
The time spent in the hospital was so hard and exhausting, but it was
also special to get so much one on one time with my youngest child who has
never had that kind of attention before.
Relationships with the kids have deepened as we have brought them into
exploring our new town with us. Daniel
was up early this morning and was even present for a conversation Andy and I
were having about a church we have been visiting. We weighed many pros and cons, and I hope
that hearing those conversations at a young age will begin to shape how he sees
the church and how he develops his own wisdom.
3.
The school situation has been good for both my
big kids. Daniel would probably thrive
in almost any school setting. He is a “learner”
and a rule follower. I had no concerns
about him making the transition, but he has done it so well, and we like his
teacher. Abigail is a little more on the
unfocused side when it comes to school.
She enjoys being social and doing art and creative play, but she has no
interest in learning her letters or writing her name at this point, and our new
preschool has been the PERFECT fit for her personality. We adored her preschool teachers in Clemmons,
and I cried when I said goodbye to them.
When I walk Abigail into school, I still ache for the community I had
with the other parents and the teachers at her previous school. But objectively, I know that her new school
is exactly what she needs. I had
a conference with her teacher this week, and their teaching philosophy is so
perfect for my middle child. It possibly
would have been frustrating for Daniel, but it is 1000% on target for Abigail. In addition to that, her teacher knows her so
well. As she described Abigail’s strengths
and areas of weakness, it warmed my heart to know that she was so seen and
loved in such a short period of time.
4.
We have found a super sweet AWANA program for
our kids. AWANA is a kid’s church
program where children are able to play and make friends and learn Bible stories,
but where a huge emphasis is also put on scripture memorization. I attended AWANA growing up, and I can say
that it was the single most valuable experience I had toward building the
relationship I now have with the Lord. I
love seeing what our kids are learning in this program and the relationships they
are developing through it.
When we called our former pastor for advice on finding a
church – telling him the pros and cons of our front runner – he advised us to
find a Bible believing church where our kids could thrive. He said that almost everything else could
come secondary to those two things. We
have not found a church, but I do think that in many ways, we have found an
overall place where our kids are thriving, and for now, that gives me enough encouragement
to keep putting one foot in front of the other as we make Charlotte home again.
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