Home

This weekend, Andy and I went to Greenville to see his family.  Greenville is Andy’s home, but it is where I lived from 2002-2012.  Greenville is the place where I met some of my best friends.  It is the place where I grew the most in my faith.  It is where I graduated from college, and graduate school, and started my first job.  It is where I bought my first house, and learned to mow grass, and where I met Andy.  In more ways than one, Greenville is home to me.  When we drove into town on Friday night, I burst into tears.  It was dark, I was tired, and all I wanted to do was pull into the driveway of my little house on 2137 Cherrytree and crawl into bed.  Sadly, that little house is not mine anymore. 

 

Saturday was almost as bittersweet as I used it catching up with some of my favorite people.  I went to breakfast with my friend, Jenn, and I worked out at my old gym with Marianne before we met Rebecca for lunch.  On Sunday, Andy and I went to my old church with his Dad.  When we walked through the doors of the sanctuary, it just felt like home to me.  Not too big, not too small, and occupied by so many people we know.  As we sang worship songs, I held back more tears and tried to talk myself out of the homesickness that surrounded me. 

 

On Sunday night, Andy and I headed toward Charlotte, but we stopped off briefly in Norwood to have dinner in my real hometown with my parents.  We drove through the neighborhood, and we saw my best friend’s car parked at her parent’s house – two doors down from MY parents.  It reminded me of all the times when we were younger running in between the two houses.  It felt like another little slice of home.

 

It is interesting that when I think of home, I think in terms of people.  Greenville has Andy’s family, Rebecca, Marianne, Jenn, and other people I love from work and church.  Norwood has my parents, my friend, Laura, and her family, and countless people I grew up knowing and loving.  Charlotte has Andy.  I wouldn’t love a city nearly the same without the people who make it up, and sadly, the people I love most in the world are spread out everywhere.

 

This morning, I was reading about Abraham. I’ve been on his story for a while, and I can’t help but think of my story when I read it. In Genesis12, God calls Abraham (then Abram) saying, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.”  God’s directive to Abraham feels so much like his directive to me – to leave my people and my parents to go where God has shown.  I know he hasn’t asked me to leave my country, or even my state!, but he has asked me to go where I didn’t think I’d want to go.  God called Abraham away in order to bless him.  It took Abraham walking in faith to gain the blessing God wanted him to have.  This weekend, in Greenville, someone told me about a job opening for which they had been asked to recommend a candidate.  They told me that they wanted to recommend me but knew there was no chance I am moving home.  My stomach sank when I heard the job description – it would be my absolute dream job.  It was one of those jobs that I am fully capable of doing, and even have the right degree, but need a contact to get my foot in the door.  When I got in my car after the conversation, I had to whine a little bit to God, and what I heard in response was a quiet whisper to my heart, “Don’t worry.  I will bless you where you are.  You are where you should be.”

 

I believe God can bless us wherever we are, but in my case, I think God has brought me to Charlotte for a specific reason that only he can see.  It isn’t home, but the more I move around, the more people I begin to love and call family, I don’t know if a place will ever truly feel like home.  Home is the people, and those people aren’t in one place. Abraham didn’t see his promised land as home either.  Hebrews 11 says that Abraham and others of faith were like strangers and foreigners on earth.  Verse 16 says, “They were longing for a better country – a heavenly one.”  When we are in heaven, all will be perfect.  We will be close to all our loved ones and work jobs that are productive and satisfying.  Earth isn’t heaven, and since it isn’t, it is important that we find our home in the Lord.  We can take our shelter in him knowing that he has a plan for us where we are, and the reality is that sometimes he has to move us away from where we are to show us where we should be.  Moving away from Greenville was not the easiest transition, but it has taught me a fair amount about what it means to sacrifice for someone I love – my husband – and it has shown me how much I NEED to be sacrificing for someone I love even more – Jesus.  Living here has also shown me God’s providence in any situation.  In less than a year, he has given me a good job, some new friends, and some areas where I can serve.  I know these are only a hint of the plan he has to come and that even when he gives me the greatest blessings he has planned in Charlotte, they will still be only a tiny taste of heaven.

 

At the gym on Saturday, Marianne asked me where I would want to live if I had a choice.  I considered my favorite options – Greenville, Raleigh, and Charlotte – and told her that I honestly didn’t know.  If Andy came home tomorrow and told me that BB&T had offered him a fantastic job in one of those three places, I’m not sure I’d even know which place I’d hope he’d say.  As I told Marianne, there are distinct advantages and disadvantages to all three places.  The conversation made me so thankful that God has all of those decisions in his hands.  For now, the place he has clearly placed us is in Charlotte, and while it might not be home, I know it is exactly where we need to be.