Before he left for work this morning, Andy and I became
involved in a conversation about what to do about Santa Clause. It sounds funny doesn’t it? We have to do something about Santa Clause??
But I guess we do because, you see, this year we have a child. This year, Santa has jumped back into our
home as people ask Daniel what he is bringing, we take pictures with the man,
and I grapple with whether or not to start the tradition of leaving cookies on
Christmas Eve. You see, my concern with
Santa is that I want Daniel to know that Christmas is not about Santa, instead
it is all about Jesus. I don’t want
Santa to come in and take over a holiday that really isn’t about him
anyway. I also don’t want my kid to be
the one who goes to preschool and ruins the joy for children who do celebrate
with Santa. So I’m stressing out about
Santa and what to do with him and what to tell our parents we are going to do
with him. And how THEY will react. And, because I’m a big fan of traditions and
establishing those from the beginning, I’m also stressing out about whether or
not to leave those dumb cookies.
So this morning, I put Daniel down for his nap in his crib,
and I curled up with my computer to type some prayers to Jesus about the big
man in red. I was seeking wisdom, and
while God has not shown me what to do about Santa, he has shown me some
problems in my own heart. He made clear
the irony in my praying about teaching Daniel the true meaning of Christmas when
in my own heart, I have not been making the holiday about Jesus at all. Here is the truth. I’ve been stressing this holiday season – and
not just about Santa. This year, I feel
pulled in a million different directions.
There are so many expectations and plans surrounding Christmas. There are people to coordinate and schedules
to consider, and everyone has their own idea of what the day should look like –
and those ideas rarely coincide. To make
matters more complicated, I have a baby who despises his car seat and lots of
traveling to do.
Additionally, there is gift giving. Let me just say that gift giving is NOT my
love language. I pretty much hate
shopping. I hate trying to find the
perfect gift, and I’m not a big fan of spending lots of money at one time. Furthermore, no matter how much I try to
prepare in advance, gift giving inevitably doesn’t go well for me. I’m pretty sure my brother and his wife won’t
get the gift I planned in time, I STILL haven’t bought anything for Andy’s
brother and his wife, and this week, I realized I have two more people on my
list I had completely forgotten. Great.
Then let’s add on the holiday decorating. I try to add one decoration a year. This year, we are in a new house and the
outdoor decorations I typically use don’t work with the setup of this home. I should add that we live on a Cul de Sac
with the most awesome neighbors ever – and all those neighbors had their homes
beautifully decorated right after Thanksgiving.
I didn’t want to be the stick in the mud with no decorations – and
honestly, who wouldn’t want to join the fun?
So, I started planning what decoration to add this year knowing it would
need to be an outdoor addition. I wanted those pretty candles people put in the
windows as my new holiday decorations.
I’ve always loved those. But we
have a lot of windows in our new house, and I wanted the good candles – not the
cheap ones that won’t work next year. I
calculated the cost of candles for all our windows, and I decided it was too
much to spend this year. Instead, I
found those net lights that go over outdoor bushes. These will be great, I thought. They were only $10 a box, and I thought two
boxes would do it. I came home, proud of
my new find and my budgeting skills, and Andy died laughing at the mere concept
that I could think two boxes would cover our enormous shrubbery. He was so right. He volunteered to go out to get more boxes,
and before I knew it, we had spent twice as much on those net lights as we
would have on the candles I really wanted.
To make matters worse, I haven’t found the time to buy the battery
operated timer we need to keep those things shining past our early bedtime, so
we still look like the Scrooges on the street!
More stress.
It dawned on me during my quiet time this morning that
whether or not Santa joins the Speight family each Christmas, I still have a
focusing problem. Christmas is not about
Santa, but it is also not about gifts or holiday decorations or trying to figure
out how to please every family member at the same time. At this time of year,
lots of people like to say that Christmas is about family and giving and
holiday spirit. Well, here is the truth –
at least for me: As much as I truly love all these things, family and giving
and the trappings of holiday spirit are sometimes stressful. And sometimes they leave me feeling
frustrated and not at all joyful. And
sometimes all I can think about is going to sleep and waking up in 2015. But the truth is that Christmas is really NOT
about family or giving or the holiday spirit – at least not in the way we
typically approach those concepts.
Christmas is really about Jesus. Christmas
is about God humbling himself to become like us so that we could become more
like him. Christmas is about a gift of righteousness
not a single one of us deserves.
Christmas is about love – the perfect love of a Father in heaven who
sees me in my mess and my stress and my worry and gives me enough grace to
cover all of it. Because of who he is to
me, I can have peace this season.
It is nighttime now.
My family is asleep. I’m about to
be the first person on my street to unplug my Christmas lights, I still have a
list of people without gifts, and I am no closer to figuring out what to do
with Santa, but in my quiet house, I know the meaning of Immanuel. I know that God is with me. I know that he is bigger than any worry, and
I know that if I continue to rest in and trust him, he will somehow work all
the details of this crazy season to be beautiful. I know this because he IS Christmas.
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