What Love Looks Like

Recently, I came across an article someone had posted on Facebook that was written about a famous photographer.  The headline said his goal was to prove that love still existed in the world.  The concept of capturing true, real love intrigued me because it sounded similar to what my photographer friend, Sara Davis, does when she photographs families in their everyday activities.  I clicked on the link.  What I found was a shocking view of love.  I can’t deny that the pictures were beautiful and artistic, but they didn’t look like love to me.  They were strategically posed and most featured people who were half (or fully) naked.  One of them made me laugh out loud.  It featured a man with his shirt off lying on a bed.  A very pregnant woman lay (in her underwear) on her back with her head on his midsection and her legs propped up against the wall.  He had his arm around her.  I’m sorry, but I’ve been that pregnant before, and there is NOTHING in me that thought that pose looked fun or comfortable or like true love.  Let’s also not forget that when you are 11+ months pregnant, lying on your back is supposed to be bad for the baby.  Heart rate dropping and all that.  I’ll tell you what true love would look like in that situation – my husband cleaning the kitchen so I could take a good long nap or soak my swollen ankles in a hot bath.  Something to that effect.

It seems humorous, but then I thought, “Someone posted this on Facebook.  Someone wrote this article.  The photographer took these pictures with a certain goal in mind.”  Apparently, some people look at these photos and think, “This is true love.”  And then take it further.  We watch movies and TV shows and read novels that ALL portray love as two beautiful people wrapped up in romantic poses or activities.  At the very least, they are holding hands and laughing.  At the other extreme, sex is the height of true love.  After all, if you love someone, isn’t intimacy necessary?  Doesn’t it SHOW your inner feelings?  I think about anyone who is single, and I don’t think we can deny that the way our culture views love makes it difficult for them to find it.  Because the truth is that real life and real love do not look like two beautiful, naked people wrapped up in solitude. 

I don’t want to be misleading.  I do think intimacy and togetherness and signs of affection play a role in love – and an important role.  But I think love is so much more than those things.  The morning after I read the article, Andy and I were driving to Boone to have lunch with a friend and meet her new boyfriend.  I took the opportunity with him cornered in the car to ask an important question: “When would you say love is most evident and obvious in our relationship?” 

Andy’s response revealed what I also believed about love.  He pointed to past times in our relationship and even current issues where love is revealed as an active choice.  He mentioned times when one of us has actively put the needs of the other over our own wants and desires.

Here is what I love about my little family and what Andy and Daniel have taught me about love.  Love is MOST beautiful when it isn’t effortless and neat.  It is most beautiful when it involves fighting for one another, when it involves sacrifice, when it involves giving.  It is most beautiful when we love like our Father in heaven taught us – when we lay down our lives for another.  Unfortunately, those moments rarely get photographed.  But I have a few pictures I wanted to post.  A few reminders to me about what love looks like.  And I hope they say something different than those of the famous photographer.

Andy bathing Daniel immediately after working all day is love - to me and him.
And look how much he loves his daddy.

My favorite pre-kid moments - working in the kitchen together and chatting.

Any time my husband does the dishes I feel loved!

My sweet Valentine.

Something special about older love.  My grandparents.

I am breaking my promise that these horrible post-labor pictures
of me would never be seen. My labor was long and rough, but it was
also a day I never felt more love - from my husband and for my son.

Ok, this picture doesn't exactly show our love
but there is a lot of it in our friendship - we have
been through lots of ups and downs in life together, and I'm thankful
for this girl!  It might also be worth noting that she was pregnant
and sick and traveled 3.5 hrs to wear a bridesmaid dress in my wedding.  She
barely made it through the ceremony before rushing out to be sick - that is friendship
love for sure!

An old one, but I think it shows how much I love these guys!

Another group I love like crazy.  And this picture captures the fun in our relationship.
We have a few pictures of tears when we are telling one another goodbye
as we  have moved apart, but I couldn't find those.