Discerning Judgement

When I was in college, I had a huge crush on a guy who was not a Christian.  To the point that I was definitely starting the “flirt and show interest” stuff to try to get him to ask me on a date.  I will never forget one of my friends noticing the charade and later asking me whether I had a crush on him.  I vividly remember walking to our dorm from the parking lot and hearing her say, “You know that’s not a wise decision.”  Hearing her voice what I knew to be Biblically true (2 Corinthians 6:14-15), stopped me in my tracks.  I remember the comment stinging a bit, but more I remember feeling how much she cared about me to hold me accountable in that way.  The length of our friendship is approaching 20 years now, and the ways that we have held each other accountable to Biblical truth over those years are too many to count.  In big and small ways, we have a relationship where we speak truth and wisdom to one another, and she is not the only friend in my life to do that for me.

My mom and I were having a conversation today that turned to the idea of judgement and judging others, and we both were commenting on what a tricky line that is to walk.  It’s a common phrase today: “I wouldn’t want to judge” or “It’s not my place to judge.”  I feel like the sentiment behind that phrase is on point.  Most people who make that comment humbly admit that they are flawed and that they don’t want to point condemning fingers at someone else knowing how much sin with which they also struggle.  I think that is what Jesus means in Matthew 7 when he is speaking of judgement and removing the plank in our own eye before seeing clearly to remove the speck from our brother’s eye.  There has to be acknowledgement that we all struggle with something, and there has to be an awareness that we must deal with our own sins before we can help others deal with their sins.

However, I do think there is an element, sometimes, in the comment “It’s not my place to judge,” where we are washing our hands of an issue God has called us to address with someone we dearly love.  Let’s face it, it is easier not to get involved – we risk a lot when we speak hard truth.  But I would ask, do we risk more by not speaking it?

Sin absolutely destroys.  When we see sin in our family members, dearest friends, church leaders that is threatening to destroy their lives, relationships, or the church as a whole, why would we not, in love, do all in our power to protect them?  My friend making that small comment in the parking lot, saved me untold heartache that would have come with blatantly disobeying a good boundary line given by God is in his word.  When she spoke that truth to me, she followed Galatians 6:1 which says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

I do think knowing when to speak truth and when to hold back and let the Holy Spirit speak it for us, is tricky and requires prayerfully seeking the Lord and using spiritual wisdom and discernment.  That’s probably why there are so many Bible verses about wisdom!  Knowing when to use discerning judgement in a situation also desperately requires that we know God’s word and that we know it well.  We can not possibly be discerning or speak wisdom if we don’t actually know what the Bible says. 

There are big issues facing Christian churches today.  Places where secular culture and political correctness are pushing into the church and asking it to be more like the world and less like the God we are called to follow.  I’m reading through Kings and the same issues happened to Israel in that time.  The foreigners around them pressed in hard on the Israelites so that they started disobeying God in seemingly small ways that led to very big ways that led to absolute blasphemy against the God who called them out of Egypt – and you know why that happened?  Because they started forgetting what God had said.  The word wasn’t getting passed down through the generations.  They didn’t know the law or weren’t interested in knowing the law.  They stopped spiritual practices or added into their lives other practices that involved other gods, and little by little their very souls were eroded and eventually the nation was destroyed and the tribes scattered.

We will end up in the same fate if we do not take precautions to remember the word of the Lord, to know and follow the God we were called to serve, to encourage those in our sphere of influence to do the same, and to have humility to repent of our own sins before others.

I think this all starts with Biblical literary.  We can never exercise the right kind of judgement if we don’t know the measure by which we judge and that starts with God’s word.  We can’t remove the plank in our own eye without knowing the Bible, and we sure can’t remove the speck in another eye if we don’t know God’s words.  I won’t lie, there are some things I don’t like about what the Bible says.  There are passages I’ve had to wrestle with because honestly, I don’t “agree” with them – they don’t feel right to me.  But at the end of the day, they are the words by which I measure my life and like it or not, I have to decide if the God I say I love is worth following even when I don’t understand or like all he says.  There are hard truths in the Bible that we HAVE to know for ourselves.  We tell our kids that they will never know a lie if they don’t first know the truth – we will be easily deceived if we don’t root our faith in what God says (which is NOT necessarily the same as what our pastor says). It’s the beginning of a New Year; start a Bible reading plan.  Reading only a few verses a day and taking time throughout that day to really meditate on the message will go a long way toward Biblical literary.

The next step in godly judgement is developing a circle of Christian friends and investing in Christian community.  I think those we are most called to hold accountable are those within the church – those outside it need simply the love of Christ and the gift of grace to be shared.  But those inside the church are called to walk a life of sanctification which means growing in our relationship with Christ. Sanctification can only be achieved as we “lay aside every weight, and the sin which clings so closely, and…run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).  But no one wants to be held accountable by someone they feel cares nothing for them.  We hold each other accountable BECAUSE we care for one another, and speaking as someone who has been beautifully blessed in Christian community, I can say that speaking the truth in love usually happens so seamlessly and naturally that it doesn’t feel condemning. 

But I also won’t like, relationships are super messy and knowing exactly when to speak and when to hold back is hard.  Knowing what sins are serious enough to risk the relationship to restore the person and which are areas where the Holy Spirit alone should work is hard.  And I’ve messed it up before and I’ve had others mess it up with me, too.  Making decisions like that certainly calls for prayer and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and we won’t get it right every time.  But we can have faith that “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 9:26-28).