For Such a Time as This

For some reason, I really love the book of Esther.  Maybe it is the female protagonist who helps save an entire race of people.  Maybe it is seeing God use a woman powerfully.  I don’t know, but I love the book, so I’m currently reading it for the umpteenth time.

 

Today, I read Chapter 4, which has to be best chapter in the book.  In Chapter 4, Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, comes to her and tells her of the king’s plans to kill the Jews.  Mordecai says to Esther, “Who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?”  She agrees to risk her life to speak to the king, and she ends up changing his mind and saving her people.  It always sounds so glorious – this sweet girl who becomes Queen and saves her people.  But, you know, I don’t think it was glorious.  In fact, I’m thinking Esther could have been bitter about the way her whole life panned out. 

 

Esther loses both her parents when she is young.  She becomes queen because she participates in a “try out” that includes a year’s worth of beauty treatments and then spending the night with the king so he can decide whether she is pleasing or not before he agrees to marry her.  The king is pleased with Esther, so for better or worse, she becomes his queen.  If my life was hers, I might feel like God had dealt me one bad hand after another.  Not only does she lose her parents, but she also loses her chance at a committed husband as the king also indulges in a harem.  Furthermore, Mordecai encourages her to hide the fact that she is Jewish, so essentially, she loses what little family she has left when she becomes queen.  On top of all that, when Mordecai comes to her with the bad news in Chapter 4, she has not been summoned by the king for 30 days indicating that he is currently displeased with her.

 

It looks like a situation where it would be easy to be bitter and angry.  Instead, as soon as Mordecai says to Esther, “Who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?”  She agrees to risk her life and approach the king about his decision regarding the Jewish people.  I’m not sure I would have responded in kind.  I may have been tempted to shout, “Royal position?  Royal position?!  Are you crazy?  I have been nothing but used by this man you call king, and he has not even spoken with me for 30 days.  I have no real friends because no one can even know I’m Jewish, and any communication I have with you has to take place via messenger.  I am sad and lonely and used.  This is not a royal position.”  Instead, his words motivate her, indicating that she agrees with his words and her role.  I also like the fact that Mordecai points out to Esther, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish.”  Mordecai has faith that God will provide help for the Jews.  He knows that Esther is not the only chance for deliverance, but if she chooses to be, she can be the instrument God uses to bring help for the Jewish people.  She agrees, and she becomes the one God uses.

 

God was able to use Esther because she focused on what she had and not what she didn’t have.   She didn’t allow herself to drown in self-pity.  Instead, she saw the privileges she had been given and focused on those, using them to play a part of God’s plan for the Jews.  I like her story because sometimes I find myself too focused on where I’m not rather than where I am.  In fact, today was one of those days.  Today I looked at the 35 kids in my classroom and thought, “What am I doing here?  These children are driving me bonkers.”  When I have moments like those, I feel stuck.  When I graduated from graduate school, my plan was to pay back my Teaching Fellow Scholarship and then become a college professor.  I never thought that two years after the scholarship was paid, I’d still be teaching high school.  But this is where I am, and where I chose to be, and “who knows but that I have come to a royal position for such a time as this?”  Who knows?  I called a parent this afternoon after her child had been suspended and told her about an alternative school he could attend while suspended so that he could still have hope of passing his classes.  I called another grandmother and let her vent about the difficulties she is having with her boy and how she feels like she is at her wits end. I gave them both encouragement, told them I cared, and directed them to their “next step” with contact numbers.  Who knows?  Maybe I am in my “royal position” for ladies like them and for boys like theirs.  I may not be blessed with the job I thought I’d have just like Esther may not have gotten the life she expected.  But like Esther, I’m still blessed.  On days like today, I may not feel my position is royal.  In fact, I may be more tempted to say like Esther, “If I perish, I perish” with a real belief that I will die in that classroom that day!  But, regardless of how I feel, God is using me where I am – as long as I allow him.  As long as I see that I am in a position where he can use me.  Because it all depends on me.  God can use anyone.  He could have used any of the teachers at Myers Park to call those two homes today, but he used me because I was there and I was willing.  Just like Esther.